Some friends of mine have started a new site, Girly Gazatte. The site is about how women need to have positive relationships with other women, mostly. They have lots of cool articles about motherhood, fashion and many other things that make you think.

In their kick off week they posted an article about who is in your tribe. (The blog has since been taken down.)

I had left a comment about who I thought was in my tribe. I have a group of ladies that I have devoted a great deal of my time to in the past and I thought they would always be there for me. However, last weekend I had something happen that makes me question that.

I realize that relationships take some nurturing and work. However, I guess I may have not nurtured that relationship as much as I should have in the last year. Our family inherited a business and as any of you know that own a business the first year is often the most trying. So I have not been around for my friends as much as I used to be. Now understand that I had spent 7 years as the leader and resigned a couple of years ago to help raise my step kids. Our family was still quite involved with the group.

Our family helped with a couple of functions a year providing entertainment. Last year they came to me and said they would like to try something different at one function, and I understood. It was business and they needed to be able to pull a crowd. My hubby didn’t understand and took it kinda personal. I discussed this with the group. I chalked this up to male egoism.

Then last week we offered to provide entertainment for the function we did last year and possibly the other one. I sent an email explaining the issue that that we would be giving up a gig at the new business to do these functions. I got no response. Then later in the week got a group email stating that someone else was hired.

I felt confused. On one hand I understand it’s business. On the other hand just one email would have made me feel that they understood and show me the path they wanted to take. I don’t expect to get every gig. I don’t expect much. An email letting me know they received mine and wanted to do something different would have been the nice thing.

Needless to say this really makes me question who is in my tribe? Who has my back? Who will be there when I need something or someone? How much does a tribe need to be nurtured? Do tribes change as you move to different places in your life? Do you need a sub-tribe for work friends, mom friends, fun friends, etc.?

I have never been one to have tons of friends, kinda is part of being a nerdy engineering kinda gal. Most of my tribe growing up and through school were guys. So dealing with a group of ladies has always been interesting, but kinda thought I had made headway. Gives me some new perspective.

So how do you nurture your tribe?

Deb Stowers
Sierra Ranch, LLC
https://sierraranchok.com/
http://sierraranchok.net/

I know I have been out of touch a bit. Had a billion things going on and no time to write. But today gotta get stuff off my chest. 🙂 Hopefully you have seen the countdown. We are down to 2 weeks and it can’t be soon enough. For both parties. Others might have followed my Twittering (http://twitter.com/sierraranch) and know about what has been happening.

In the mean time things have gone from bad to worse to normal again. Last Sat. (3/21) we got a call that Rick’s dad was in the hospital and not doing well. We needed to be in Agleton TX before the youngest brother got on the plane to go back to NC. The middle brother was flying in later on Sun. So we made a 9 hour driving trip and got to the hospital about 2AM and visited a second. We couldn’t find his house even with the GPS. How many cattle paths can be named Bastrop Drive??? Stayed 4 hours in a hotel, got up and visited with Dick and others at the hospital. We followed a neighbor to his house and went back to wait.

Greg got in about 11PM Sun. They stayed at a hotel. Doctors would not really give us a good time frame for the end. The friends had arranged for Dick to come home on Monday since nothing could really be done. The boys got things worked out on Monday and their dad came home. Several step kids and many friends came by the house to see him. We stayed there with him and the nurse. One set of step kids slept in the downstairs.

Tuesday Dick got quieter and we thought this might be the day, but he held on through another great gathering and the morning. Greg’s daughter got in and said her goodbyes and shortly later the nurse came out and let us know he passed. Dick was diagnosed with lung cancer. As they were looking they found cancer in his bones, spine, lythm system, and who knows where else. He just wanted to die at home and did. He didn’t want to linger and didn’t. The nurses made sure he was comfortable.

Greg was listed at the executor, but wanted to pass this on to Rick since we live closer, so know we get to oversee the disspurment of the estate. Any one want a nice house on the Bastrop Bayou? We have a court date in about a month.

So far we have inherited a no tailed cat named Bob. Allyson is taming him. I think he may have been an inside cat at one time, but he was an outside cat at Dick’s. He is at least nuetered. And he is not a manx. It feels like something cut his tail off. I even snuck Bob into a hotel room to get him home.

We will also be taking over Dick’s gun show business. They boys split up the guns he had, but we currently have all the parts, gun smithing tools, and other stuff. Rick is researching what to do with this. He might actually get to quit work sooner which we would all like. 🙂 He can see this as a great side business to have with the horse operation.

We went through most of the stuff in the house and have a big job ahead of us, but we will take the challenge. That’s what the oldest do. Middle children are so funny. 🙂 We got things tied up pretty well and headed out on Thursday evening so that we could be home to get Allyson ready for the prom. Rick told the family that we need to focus on Allyson now that his dad is gone. Everyone agreed. We hope to bring her down with us when we go next.

The whole week that we were in TX the kids were being watch over by our version of a village. 🙂 Allyson stayed part of the weekend with my Mom. Our neighbor that lives behind us and takes Ashley to work made sure that Allyson got ont he bus every morning before taking Ashley. I called each morning to wake Allyson and got to talk

to her all the way to the bus. 🙂 She is so funny. Then after school mom made sure they had food. Mom even spent Sunday trying to teach the kids to clean house. (What Fun!) I don’t know that it worked , but after a week of stepping into my shoes, my Mother has much more understanding of what I go through and what works. Now she even understand the count down. LOL!!!

Allyson had fun at the prom. She was taken out to eat at Olive Garden, petted fishes, danced to death, and then went to the after party. Ryan got to go to the after party some and they had fun. It went from rain to snow and by the time I went to pick her up from a friend’s it was snowing buckets.

OMG it is SO NOT suppose to snow like this time of year! For freaking sake it’s SPRING! We got at least four inches and will have the world’s largest muddiest mess, but at least it’s moisture. We needed it so bad. Just this all at once thing is a bit much. What is so funny is seeing the green grass sticking out of the snow. LOL!

Well, I better get to my ratkilling. I am 1100+ emails behind in one email account and 12,000+ behind in another. All my IM stuff is falling behind and I really need to get all the bills and estate stuff up to date. But my desk is a total mess. LOL!

And my cat is mad she doesn’t have place to sit. 😛 And just 14 more days until Ashley’s driver’s test. We can’t wait. OK, enough rambling. Must go do something. Not sure what, but something! Now it makes sense that the newsletter for the ranch has not gone out and the million other things I need to do.

Hope you had a quieter week than we have! Hope you have a wonderful next week!

Asley will turn 18 on April 11th, but Monday she will take the test. After this we feel we have done what we can. You don’t want to know waht the next step is with her. 🙂

Rick has told me that June 1 he will be full time at the ranch. So this count down is to remind me what are the most important things to be working on.

Hope you have a great week!